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Thread: How to kill a tree, all covert like

  1. #1

    Default How to kill a tree, all covert like

    Back story,

    There is a short but steep hill between my house and my neighbors. I have a fence and so do they, but the hill is located between the fences.

    The prior neighbor decided to plant leyland cypress trees along the hill. Now they are about 20 feet tall and FULL of bee's.

    Add to the problem, the trees have bushed out and are pushing into the fences, not that I care about theirs, but its damaging mine.

    So my plan is to go all ninja skills on the neighbors leyland cypressess trees, assassinate them.

    In a twist of irony, I will offer my service to cut them down, cut them up and haul them off and suggest a replacement plant along the lines of a blue rug juniper for ground cover.

    Which brings me to my planning stage......anyone got a good idea on how to kill 10 leyland cypress trees and make it look like an accident?

    Signed,
    Anonymous
    I'za Blanka, He'za Blanka, She'za Blanka, we some Blanka's, wouldnt ya like to be a Blanka' too?

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  2. #2

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    PS.

    I got my ass stung in the head today trying to weed eat my fence.
    I'za Blanka, He'za Blanka, She'za Blanka, we some Blanka's, wouldnt ya like to be a Blanka' too?

    Triad Trailblazers ATV Club

  3. #3
    Senior Member
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    spray a shitload of weed killer on the lower branches of the tree and say you were spraying your grass to kill the weeds off in it before you plan on aerating next month and the wind must caused a bad mist to hit the tree when you sprayed near your fence area. Pick a semi windy day .

  4. #4

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    I dont think that will kill the tree though.

    I understand that saltwater willl kill anything that grows but it will also prevent anything new from living in the same area.
    I'za Blanka, He'za Blanka, She'za Blanka, we some Blanka's, wouldnt ya like to be a Blanka' too?

    Triad Trailblazers ATV Club

  5. #5
    Senior Member Russell's Avatar
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    Hate to say it anonymous but the penelty for killing or removing trees that don't belong to you are super high. You might as well take his first born. You do have the right to remove all limbs from your side On your property) and that is what I would do. Approach him first and let him know of your plans. He may decide to take you up on the offer to remove them. Get some pictures of the trees and your fence in case he tries to push buttons on you. If you don't want to go that way, I hear you get some monster snow storms. Wait for the next one and bury his ass in it. Maybe his wife will appreciate that and let you do what you want.
    Don't ask for an easier life; ask to be a stronger person.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by Russell View Post
    Hate to say it anonymous but the penelty for killing or removing trees that don't belong to you are super high. You might as well take his first born. You do have the right to remove all limbs from your side On your property) and that is what I would do. Approach him first and let him know of your plans. He may decide to take you up on the offer to remove them. Get some pictures of the trees and your fence in case he tries to push buttons on you. If you don't want to go that way, I hear you get some monster snow storms. Wait for the next one and bury his ass in it. Maybe his wife will appreciate that and let you do what you want.

    Dont listen to him Phil, he is one of those "responsible people."

    You can take a thin hand saw and saw around the base of the tree about 1/2" into the tree. That will kill them 100% dead. The thinner the saw, the harder it will be for them to see the cuts. Or, you could introduce a parasite that will kill the trees. Im not familiar with the parasites of that particular trees, but find a tree with some fungus or beetles and cram a branch into on of their trees.
    Cutting around the circumfrence of the trees will work best, but I do feel like it would be slightly suspicious for all the trees to start dying at exactly the same time. Maybe you could just do every other tree and with only a few healthy trees left they will have no choice but to let you cut them all down and plant something else.
    Zip Tie or Die

  7. #7
    Senior Member Russell's Avatar
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    "Dont listen to him Phil, he is one of those "responsible people."".............Wait a minute. I didn't know it was Phil. I thought it was just an "anonymous" person. Cut the dang things down Phil. If he pitches a fit, replacements cost about $10 for a sappling. Should take a few years for it to grow to the existing trees size. Then you can cut them down again and start all over.
    Don't ask for an easier life; ask to be a stronger person.

  8. #8

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    If you really want to get your point accross, wait until winter, then go over there, drag his wife into the yard and shove her face in the snow.
    Zip Tie or Die

  9. #9
    Administrator Greg's Avatar
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    Shame you can't just push them down and boot them in the ass!
    Greg

    "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." - Albert Einstein

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  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by DareDevilQracer View Post
    If you really want to get your point accross, wait until winter, then go over there, drag his wife into the yard and shove her face in the snow.
    Aaaahahahahaha!!!! Man, that was good! But, mainly because of the story we all know of from last year... I mean, I don't think shoving women in the snow is funny, but I like how he used that from last year...
    Last edited by SuperZ; 08-26-2010 at 05:25 PM.

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